The arduous journey of completing my first CD "Hallucignosis" would make for a twisted novel. (It would have to be in novel format as it would not be possible document that gnarly history in true biographical form.)

For the sake of brevity, I'll only concentrate on the most recent phase of (mis)adventure -- the last 9 years. I'll leave the story about all of the bands, open-mic nights on a guitar in Hollywood, etc for another time.

I came to electronica production around 1999. Having grown up a "rock guy" (whose main instrument was a trap kit) it took a few years of listening to Jason Bentley on KCRW (97-99) to realize that THAT was the sound I was hearing in my head when I'd bang on an acoustic guitar. The expansive soundscapes, the other-worldly noises, the grinding bass, the haunting melodies... this was the home I'd been searching for at last. (Believe me, growing up on the Doors, Zep, Beatles, et al... this was a strange thing to realize.)

So in 1999 I got my first decent job as a web designer for a small company in LA. Finally got out of debt, got some credit built up and could invest in some gear. This was the beginning of the age of digital music production and there were some major missteps on finding the right tools. It took a few years for me to settle in to the right approach, but once it was found, I was more snugly tucked in than a CEO in a senator's back pocket.

But there was one major problem to contend with -- infinity.

The problem with electronica music production is that you literally have an INFINITE number of choices. Its so easy to sit for hours tweaking individual sounds and trying to get them to mesh with other modified melodies that you'll often look up in horror to a clock mocking you for your lack of productivity. Because if you can't bring it to completion, then its only so much digital wanking.

This process of learning how to scale back from infinity (coupled with learning digital music tools from the ground up) took the better part of six or seven years. Sure, there were lots of burned CD roms passed around with too many songs that I hope never see the light of day. Of course, there were also quite a few other distractions during those years that really ARE best left for a sordid biography.

The point that I'm trying to get to (and I'm getting there quick) is by the time I finally stumbled upon a combination of production tricks that worked to emulate the sound in my head, I was at that point also wrestling with a pretty large neurosis for having been at it for so long. Which brings us to the purpose of this essay -- the track I wished had never gone on the Hallucignosis CD.

Which one was it? Feel of the Skin.

That was the first track I had worked on when the epiphany hit -- "oh, if I use THIS device and combine with THESE instruments, then I can get--!!" A veritable torrent of work started to flow out of me through the next year and a half. (Would have taken a lot less but the "day gig" was always getting in the way.)

By the time I had enough content for a full length CD I had learned so much more that Feel of the Skin started to feel somewhat unsatisfying. So began a series of rewrites that never should have happened. In hindsight I wish that I'd just left it where it was... a learning experience that should have stayed that.

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